It's getting closer...

The last few weeks, my mind has been quietly occupied with all sorts of thoughts and feelings about our little family that is about to grow to four. And, tonight at bath time it really hit me hard. The house was quiet other than the happy sounds of Morgan splashing away in the bathtub. If only for a moment, life seemed so uncomplicated. So simple. So beautiful. I love that child with every ounce of my being, and it still amazes me after 2.5 years how I can have so much love for one little person. And knowing that pretty soon my heart will swell with that much love for two little boys, well that my friends just leaves me in awe. The power of that kind of love is truly amazing. 

As the birth of our second child grows nearer, I can't help but be more aware of  conflicting feelings I have been having. It amazes me how I can be so, so eager for that day to come, for us to finally get to meet the mysterious little person that has been growing inside me for the better part of 2012, but also have this sense of mourning for the little family of three that will be no more. Although some days can seem crazy, I know there is a simplicity that comes with having one child and I've become acutely aware of this as little one #2's arrival date gets closer and closer. 

It's in those quiet bath time moments. It's in the quick shopping trip to Target, just me and my little buddy. It's Christmas morning centered around our one little angel child. I want to soak up these last few weeks of our world revolving around one little boy. Does that sound weird? Ungrateful? Selfish? Is it weird that these thoughts can also coincide with such excitement and anticipation of the birth of our next little one? Maybe, but, I also know that eventually my bath tub will be filled with two adorable little boys and twice the love. That me and my boys will make those same trips to Target, but then it will be as the three of us, The Three Musketeers! And that next Christmas will be twice as magical with a 3.5 year old excited for Santa, and a 11 month old toddling, with amazement taking in Christmas lights for the first time.

I know these may seem strange thoughts to some, but I doubt I'm the only mama who has felt this way. I don't like to sugarcoat my feelings. I like to keep it real, so to speak. And I wish more mama's felt that way. Motherhood would be a lot more freeing, and feel a lot less lonesome {as it sometimes can feel}, if more mama's were just real about how they felt. If they only they were a little more free to talk more about the other side of motherhood, those not so "puppies and rainbows" moments, if you will.

So here's to enjoying and soaking up every small moment in these last few weeks as a family of three, and for the excitement, new adventure, and twice the love that our family of four will bring!

xoxo,

Ashley