I've taken a little blogging hiatus the past 2 months to enjoy my boys, so I apologize up front for the complete unloading of my mind and heart this post is. I have a lot to say. And I don't ever want to forget how I felt at this point in my life, and if I didn't write it down I would. My memory is crap.
I wouldn't call life "busy" right now ( my pet peeve is when someone is "so busy" ugh), but my days are certainly filled to the brim with little people :-) I remember thinking just one baby was hard. Ha! Add a busy body toddler into the mix and I've got hard. I often wonder (especially those first few weeks) how on earth people have 3, 4, and 5 plus kids and live to tell about it. Frank and I always have said we are two and done, but while I was pregnant I had some brief moments of insanity when I thought maybe three sounded good. All it took was a week home with a newborn and toddler for me to ask Frank when his vasectomy was going to be scheduled. I love my boys so much my heart feels like it could burst sometimes, but two is enough. I'll give them all my love.
Still, people love to ask us if we're going to "try for a girl". In fact it started before Cash was even born (umm, let me pop this one out first and then we'll talk thankyouverymuch!). No we will not be trying for a girl (see above). I have always thought I wanted a girl, I mean have you seen the girls clothing sections at Target? I die. But really, I think my personality and parenting style is better suited for boys. And now that our family is complete with two boys, I couldn't imagine it any other way. I guess God knew what he was doing when he blessed me with two little boys after all :)
So how is life with TWO? Most things have been a LOT easier the second time around. And, I think that is for two reasons:
1. Frank and I have gotten better at parenting together and we didn't have to deal so much with that learning curve that was there the first time around. We are both a lot more relaxed and comfortable caring for a baby and we've learned each others areas of strength and weakness and use that to make it through the days. For example, I know that sometimes he needs a nap during the day and he knows I function better when I get a good stretch of sleep in at night. So, he's been giving Cash a bottle every night since 3 weeks which has helped tremendously! What an angel right? Now if I could only get him to wash the dishes and clean the toilets...
and 2. I learned sometime between baby #1 and baby #2 that sometimes you have to drop the parenting books (hello, information overload!) and follow your gut. Sure, I still second guess myself ALL the time, I think that's something that just comes with the territory, but I'm a lot more comfortable letting go and following my instincts and doing what works for my family. Once I came to that point, it was a lot easier to relax a little and enjoy this crazy ride that is parenthood.
I've said it a million times and I'll say it again, the hardest part about baby #2 for us has been baby #1. Cash really has been a pretty easy baby, but add in the demands and attention seeking needs of a toddler and I feel like I'm constantly being pulled in two different directions. Morgan really has taken becoming a big brother in stride for the most part, but there were a few weeks in the beginning when he was acting out to get our attention. Thankfully, that didn't last too long (although it seemed never ending when we were in the thick of it all) and he never took it out on Cash. He adores Cash and Cash absolutely adores him. It has been so amazing to me to be witness to the instant bond that has formed between the two of them, and I'm so excited to watch their relationship blossom and grow.
Other than trying to meet the needs of two little ones simultaneously, the biggest struggle I have had was breastfeeding, again. I struggled a lot at the beginning (although not nearly as much as with Morgan), but thankfully it got physically easier at around 3.5 to 4 weeks. For a few more weeks it was still stressful and emotionally tough. I struggled figuring out how to balance nursing, which is so time consuming, with all my other responsibilities, but here I am 9 weeks later and I feel like a pro and am so glad I stuck it out. I still have rough days when I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions, and those my friends, are the days Grandma comes to the rescue (we would be lost and crazy without her)!
So two months in I'd say things are getting easier as we begin to settle into a routine. Although, I still wouldn't attempt taking them both to a doctors appointment yet {click on that} and Grandma is still on speed dial.
xoxo,
Ashley
